How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
