1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize