You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
