can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
