So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
