Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
