It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
They took my balls.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize