i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
