How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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