i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
