Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
