You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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