i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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