everyone is single if you try hard enough
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
