Fine. I'll sleep in my office
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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