I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
3pm strippers are depressing
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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