Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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