you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
