just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
