The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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