I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
