Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
