awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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