Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
