"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
God, I missed his penis.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
