Tell her she can't have a vagina
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i love accidental penises.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
