Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
