New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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