just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
