Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
