is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
