Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
