I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
