So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
