and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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