glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Screwed.edu
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
