I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
