Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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