ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
