is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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