Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize