theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
