remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize