Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
