No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
