You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize