If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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