You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
