Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize