thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
