Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
