when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
