Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
