like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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