time to smoke my breakfast
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
