Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
