im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
