I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize