sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
