I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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