escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize