Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
