Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
