Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yes give me all the cream and he's gone

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

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(561): View more from Florida

i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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(678): View more from Georgia

he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing

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(812): View more from Indiana

It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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(516): View more from New York

shit i just threw up on a freshman

(1-516): View more from New York

i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..

(516): View more from New York

nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.

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