So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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