She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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