she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
