Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
