it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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